I feel like I am used to being challenged. I usually think I am open to challenges from God and others. I want to grow... but I have had multiple things that are just sitting on me right now. For instance a few weeks ago Sheldon (http://www.onlyonemessage.blogspot.com/) at work read a few quotes from Crazy Love by Francis Chan (I haven't read it yet, but it sounds really good). One of the things he read was called Profile of the Luke warm. Now, I know that lukewarm is not usual wording. The reference comes from Revelation 3:15-17
"15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked."
The profile of the lukewarm says things like "lukewam people don't want to be saved from their sins, just the penalty of them, lukewarm people measure their spirituality in comparison to others, lukewarm people hear about awesome things done by Christians but believe that those things are only done by those that are "radical" Christians" and so much more. Then he read a line in the book about how Francis went to a theatre show with his wife's family and her grandmother. During the break in the show he turned to the grandma and asked if she was enjoying the show, when she didn't seem very excited he asked why and she said "I just don't know if this is where I want Christ to find me if He comes back". Who even thinks that way anymore?
All of that had already been bouncing around in my head when we went to Nathan's grandparents for Father's Day and I saw a sign in his grandmothers kitchen. Right below a picture of her church it said "If every church member was just like me, what kind of church would my church be?" That joined the previous things in my head and bounced around more. I mean there may be a few places that were working well...but if I am honest with myself there would be so much lacking from my church.
THEN Ryan Okubo (http://www.tcanstudents.blogspot.com/) is our Student Pastor at the church and he preached on Sunday. He challenged us with all that are in the world dying both physically and spiritually. He talked about how blessed we are but that we are not blessed without requirement... we are blessed to be a blessing. In Genesis 12: 1-3
1 The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. 2 "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."
America is by far the most blessed nation currently. Did you know that American's could have put an end to world hunger last year with the money that we spent on perfume? PERFUME! Doesn't that make you sad? To know that children are dying as you read this because we spent money on unnecessary things like perfume, fru-fru coffee, clothing we don't wear, things shoved in the back of closets, eating out when we have perfectly good food at home. I thought about my life and all that I enjoy... while children die. It is more than I can handle.
OK - so all of this is bouncing around in my head for the last month. What did I do? Well, after prayer the first thing I did was look at my budget and see what I could cut to help support a child at Compassion International (http://www.compassion.com/). I have also been asking God to show me ways that He can correct habits, thoughts, actions in my life so that I can move from being lukewarm. I love Christ and have given Him everything in word... but I want to follow through with that in my actions, choices, and time. I want to be obedient to the call He has on my life. I am learning... and the more I learn the smaller and less knowledgeable I feel because I continue to get a taste of the awesome hugeness of God.
Does any of this make sense? Some times it helps to get it out in text. I am pretty tired :) I think it is bed time. Last night I dreamt of pizza... I hope I don't do that tonight... I woke up hungry.